The one about the MIBs in Portsmouth, New Hampshire. A mysterious Mrs. Evans is beset with a Men in Black encounter and all sorts of high strangeness follows. Also Erik is potentially under surveillance by the Grays.
Men in black: A preliminary Report
Wikis:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Men_in_black
Images
Loose Script:
The MIBs in Portsmouth
Hey everyone, and welcome or welcome back to another episode of nightmare now, the show where we muse on the mysteries of the multiverse every week and cover macabre machinations and morbidities monthly. I’m your host, Erik Byrne and man do I have a freaky topic for you today!
But first some exciting news from our sponsor. Me, it’s just me. I pay to host the show and website. I'm the sponsor, but anyway we surpassed 300 downloads the other day and we’re live in a few more countries and platforms! I’m getting some feedback from people who I haven’t known for year or even at all, so if you don’t know me personally and you’re still checking out the show, thanks! We’re glad to have ya!
Ok lets get down to business with the topic tonight. I think this is our first alien show proper, but I’m sure there’s gonna be plenty more, unless these guys show up and wipe my brain, That’s right we’re talking the MEN IN BLACK, the second scariest thing under that title, the first has gotta be that pitbull tie in song for the third MIB movie. Our source this evening is robert Bulls “Men in Black: A preliminary Report” from 1997
For the uninitiated, and no the 1997 will smith and tommy lee jones movie and sequels aren’t a primer on this stuff, but great nonetheless, For the uninitiated, men in black are part of conspiracy theory dating back to the late 1940s, post World war II when the world was engulfed in saucer mania. Pilots reported flying saucers, people saw glowing orbs that learn to fly, or that were learning to walk again. These were known as foo fighters, though some would claim that these foo fighters were just a pretender trying to get the best of you. I could go on everlong about the orbs sighted, breaking the sound barrier and performing seemingly impossible ariel stunts but I think it would kind of throw a monkey wrench into the plan for this episode. You’d be sitting there listening expecting men in black content and I’d just be talking about orbs, you’d unsubscribe and shrug and say there goes my hero, I guess.
In the panic of saucers and foo fighters people were seeing all sorts of crazy s**t in the sky, some of it may have been aliens buzzing the planet to check out the grand canyon or trying to pick up earth chicks and some of it could have been advanced government military technology prepping for the earliest stages of the cold war. Give it a few years when eisenhower got into office and it was probably both. But President eisenhower pimping out americans for vivisection in exchange for alien technology is a whole nother can of worms that warrants an episode all on it’s own.
Damn I’m getting myself all wound up here, it’s just that the ufo phenomena is a subject that, like a tar pit, is as wide as it is sticky, murky, deep and greasy. I’ll get to all this stuff in due time though. For now, the men in black.
Upon seeing all this wild s**t in the sky people would chat up their friends and coworkers or the newspapers or whatever, they didn’t have podcasts to avoid social interaction back then. If witnesses got too chatty about what they saw, or if they started looking too deep into the phenomena that's when they showed up. You’d be sitting around the kitchen table when the phone would ring. Now who could that possibly be at this hour, what a rascal! You’d pick it up and the voice would say in an eerie facsimile of human speech that it was a UFO researcher that wanted to hear about your experience. You’d agree something like now, sure son we can set something up CLICK They would hang up. And within seconds there would be a knock on your door. You open it to see a tall, unusually thin man dressed all in black maybe with one or two others. “Hello Mr Listener, we spoke earlier on the phone, We’d like to come in, perhaps ingest a water glass.” Their clothes are always carefully manicured, complete with sharp pleats as if they had come right off the rack. Unusually pale, larger than normal eyes, Is anya taylor joy an MIB?
Sometimes completely hairless, no eyebrows, facial hair, nothing, other times a greasy combover, These guys set off every uncanny valley warning alarm you have. Aside from their unsettling appearance, people who encountered them reported unusual behavior. Like they had to take a crash course on human society by watching movies and then trying to fit in, being vaguely aware of human behavior but utterly unable to comprehend nuance. Like they would ask for water to ingest and then just rest a hand in it or something like that. Other times they were more aggressive, shoving and threatening people with ice cold hands. But some things were always the same. A feeling of unease, the intruders asking if they had seen anything unusual, days after the witness had seen a ufo or other phenomena. And a warning, implicit or explicit. To not look into this further, and to not tell anyone what you saw.
They claimed to be from the government and usually drove black cadillacs. People still encounter the MIBs to this very day. There’s a lot more to the MIB phenomena as a whole and I want time to read a book or two, to put together a long episode on them from
their origins to notable encounters, but today I’m gonna take a look at one wild set of encounters that didn’t take place in 1950s roswell, but instead right here on my street in 1977 portsmouth new hampshire.
Additionally I’m too afraid to do the full research right now for what it’s worth. I’ve been house sitting for a friend out in the woods this past week and every time I take the dog out at night I get the feeling that someone is watching me, just beyond the porch light. A bush rustles, A twig snaps and I book it inside. Sitting by the fire late at night and reading about them showing up and threatening people really gives me the f**king creeps.
Our story begins with a Mrs. Evans. She used an alias, so don’t go harassing old women named Mrs Evans, portsmouth people. Although if you do know who it is and feel like she’d be up for an interview, let me know at nightmarenow.com the icons on the site will take you to all the social media or email links you might need.
Mrs Evans was at the local grocery store, literally I can picture walking there from here, not in 1977, I wasn’t alive yet, but the road there still exists. So she’s at the grocery store looking at the national enquirer or whatever was in the checkout aisle back then. When she sees him, dressed all in black, with a fedora. There's actually a sketch of this one I'll throw in the show notes, Mrs Evans was apparently an artist.. He had stark white skin and jet black eyes. Already freaky, but then there’s weird details. He had wide shoulders and a tiny waist like he had a corset under his suit jacket. And later he walked with a stiff gait, apparently with no curvature of the spine. I don’t think I’ve ever really noticed the curvature of a strangers spine unless it’s like, igor level f**ked up but it’s an interesting thing to point out.
The Man, I guess we’ll call him a man even though he could very well be an alien, was being handed his change by the cashier, whom he was ignoring. Instead opting to stare backwards at Mrs Evans in the checkout line with an eerie glare. Eventually the cashier managed to get his attention and give him his change and he left but the encounter was unnerving. Evans chalked it up to the guy being a creep and pushed the thought from her mind. That was all well and good until she leaves the store and he’s standing there as if he’s expecting her, I mean why wouldn’t he, it was probably the only way out of the grocery store. But I digress.
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Mrs evans at this point just wants to get the hell out of there with her groceries and kind of takes off speed walking towards her home. The Man in black starts going the same direction, and by the time they leave the parking lot his long strides have him walking five or six steps ahead of her. He hasn’t said a word or anything at this point, just given her that glare in the store. Suddenly he makes an almost robotic 90 degree turn to the left and heads down a side street, Mrs evans wants to ignore him and move on towards home but her curiosity gets the better of her and she looks to her left to see if he’s gone, having hopefully walked down the other street and out of her life but she’s got no such luck. She drops a bag of her groceries and her blood goes ice cold. The man is standing in the middle of the street staring directly at her. At this point she’s passed the street the man supposedly went down so either he silently sprinted to catch up to her or he teleported or some other kind of spatial f**kery. He still doesn’t make a sound nor does he make an expression on his pallid face. He just stands there nodding like that f**king jack nicholson gif from anger management.
He nods three times and completely vanishes, she said it was like a light turning off and he was gone. He didn’t move, he didn’t fade out, just a blink and he wasn’t there anymore. God can you imagine if that’s at night? He pops up right next to you under a street light and then disappears. I couldn’t find a time of day for this story other than late august of 1977. It’s so damn creepy it gives me the chills.
I wrote some more of this outline today but last night the stuff in the woods escalated. Maybe it’s late, maybe I’m paranoid but I swear I saw a f**king grey run by just outside the backyard light. Bout three, four feet tall, greyish seemingly bipedal. The dog looked up at it too, so it wasn’t just my imagination. I guess it could be a deer, but I know about all the stories about looking into this kind of phenomena, doing this kind of research is usually exactly how people end up having run ins with the MIBS, so I’m excited to get on with some more i don’t know grounded topics so I’m not being harassed by aliens while I’m trying to enjoy my non show related, non work related time.
As the book presents, though, that wasn’t the last mysterious encounter mrs evans suffered, again, if any of my friends in portsmouth, is this your grandma I guess 1977 could be just your mother, let me know, I’ll be gentle, I swear. She seems cool as f**k and I believe what she’s putting out. So that’s it, end of show. I wasted 20 minutes of your day to see a gangly rude albino jack nicholson. That was it. See ya next week.
f**k off you think that’s all I got for an episode, I know it’s late today but give me a break I’m getting harassed by greys, in an unfamiliar environment.
That wasn’t the last of Mrs evans peculiar encounters, in fact it wasn’t even the first! As a child she reported poltergeist activity, As a young woman in the 1960s she reported seeing a man in a quote air force uniform with a sad affect” that walked with her for a week but never again. That one doesn’t sound paranormal, just a dude shooting his shot. Later in 1977 she saw a UFO now this is where things get juicy because aside from the thirsty airman who I really don’t believe was an otherworldly entity, her life was fairly normal. She sees a UFO in winter of 77 with her husband. We’ve got multiple witnesses here, that’s important as far as UFOs go.
In late 1978 and early 79 she reports burns and lacerations on her skin after quote “restless nights” for those of us familiar with the lore, this is textbook alien abduction and experimentation, and the portsmouth area is honestly, well known for alien abductions, Iv’e had a cigar or two at night in my yard and I haven’t seen s**t but exeter, the next town over is the site of the famous, or infamous, depending on how dramatic you want to be betty and barney hill abductions of the early I want to say 1950s. They’ll get their own episode someday, maybe even on location, I’m pretty sure there’s a monument to them out on 101.
She cops to A DOZEN or so UFO sightings from December 1978 to november 1979, it seems like after her original encounter she was intertwined with the phenomena. Why that is is entirely unclear.
And this is kind of unusual, she didn’t see UFOs until after encountering the MIB. Normally it’s the opposite. You see the UFO and then the MIBs try to shut you up after the fact. Interestingly enough Mrs Evans' father reported a UFO as early as 1973, which could point to some familial link, common in abduction and visitation cases like this.
I’m gonna start jumping all over her timeline though because the experiences she had after the fact are simply put, unbelievable. And we get to start going into her poor husband, the man that thought he was constantly being cucked by the men in black.\
Good ol’ Joe Evans, I’m one hundred percent making that name up so if that’s your name, sorry. Ol Joe evans walks into the kitchen one day, and sees his wife mrs evans, lets call her sandy from now on, it’s an alias after all, so sandy is cooking up some fire 1979 Chili or horrific jello cake or something and joe walks in to see his beloved wife, and standing behind her, a gangly man dressed in a neatly ironed suit, He asks who the f**k is this! And sandy turns around and screams, she didn’t realize he was even there. The MIB who quote “Didn’t look solid” unquote appeared to phase STRAIGHT THROUGH the kitchen door and disappear into the night.
Another time a year later Sandy was working in her garden and Joe came home to see the same lanky dude hanging out behind her, probably hip thrusting away without her knowledge as she bent over to pluck carrots from the soil. Furious he thought he was getting cucked again, he shouted who the f**k is that what the f**k is going on and shge again, turned around and screamed and the MIB ran straight through the hedge in their yard as if it wasn’t there.
Kind of funny to think that maybe she was getting some side action and the dude was covering himself in flour or something to hide it but the sheer amount of sightings and documentation makes me think he wasn’t getting cucked by any average human.
Another time and the date isn’t specified, Sandy saw a man in a flight suit of some kind, olive skinned with his hands up over his head that walked right by her, keeping his hands up like a surgeon, in the “Scrub up position” With quote the baleful eyes of a fish. This to me doesn’t seem like an MIB. They usually have extremely pale skin and are often quite tall. It sounds like here she ran into the f**king great cornholio looking for TP, but it was worth including for the beavis and butthead reference.
Another time, she saw a van with a mysterious midget appearing from within it and walk by ignoring her. Again, I don’t think this is paranormal, I think it was just a little person trying to go about his business, some of these accounts really didn’t need to be published but robert bull, the author of the book, felt the need to be exhaustive.
Later though she was working on the hedges again, and suddenly the hedges parted, revealing two faces that she thought were just neighborhood children, foolin around. But then she noted that they weren’t in fact children, but older and inhuman in form, the only noise they made was the kissy noise one uses when one wants to summon a cat, and then they reached out of the bushes with misshapen hands like fleshy lobster claws without the shell. She ran into the house and was unable to scream, when she came back out with her husband joe, no lobster children were to be found anywhere. But what she did see was a shadowy figure walking down the road. A figure that Mrs Evan’s own neighbor would eventually confess to see prowling around her own home That’s a huge detail, that’s multiple witnesses and corroborations of the story. As far as I’m concerned I believe all this happened. As for her getting piped up by an MIB, the jury is still out but I’m sure Joe Evans doesn't feel great about it. As I write this I’m lookin out the window to see if I can catch any of this craziness. This is all in my home neighborhood. I live right near this grocery store.
Jeez hearing this s**t makes me wonder if I should move out of this alien infested town. All though most of the spooky s**t I see is crackheads hanging around gosling meadows, not exactly an otherworldly existential threat.
I’m gonna riff off some of the smaller encounters she had after the initial one at the grocery store here, these don’t have dates or as much description as the others, but I feel like they’re more than interesting enough to include.
Mrs Evans reported a blood-like, jelly like red substance coating objects in her home spontaneously. This is interesting because this is something you see in a lot of haunting or poltergeist style cases in the lore. I believe that somewhere out there waiting to be hashed out and dictated is a unified theory of paranormal experiences. The deeper you go in this field the more you recognize disparate phenomena overlapping in an ever complicating venn diagram. Aliens are related to old timey fairy lore, are related to government coverups are related to hauntings and ghost are related to cryptids and more. I truly believe that there’s more linking bigfoot, aliens, space, earth, the depth of the ocean and the mind, and the human psyche than we can truly know right now.
Jumping off that train of thought Mrs evans reported puffs of yellow smoke, smelling of quote wet zoo animal and sulphur”. This ties in demonolgoy and biology into all the bulls**t I talked about a second ago. ITS ALL CONNECTED.
Mrs Evans has still further strange experiences, She reports her purse floating from her table to her hand, firebolts shooting from her fingertips and her tea kettle letting out ethereal howls without having any water or even a stove on. She’s a one woman microcosm of fortean phenomena!
She reports some premonitions of IRA attacks and plane crashes and stuff but I honestly feel these are a more spurious reach than the rest of the thing’s she’s going through.
Robert bull collects all this over a series of interviews in a preliminary report and goes on to follow up when Mrs Evans agrees to go under a psychiatric examination. THey report no signs of schizophrenia or other mental disorders, and Sandy Evans Reports “Never touching a drop” with regards to booze or other substances. Robert comes to the conclusion that she’s just an extraordinary woman with extraordinary experiences.
Her husband really was just made as hell that ebay time he would be gone he’d come home and a tall gangly dude would be giving his wife a shoulder massage and then float through the f**kING WALL when he called out. Again if anyone knows these guys real names and if their up for an interview, let me know at nightmarenowpodcast@gmail.com
That just about wraps up the tale of Mrs Evans and the portsmouth MIBs, but I’m sure there’s more to uncover right here at home. I’m recording in a haunted house after all!
Thanks again for everyone listening, Thanks for 300 downloads, that’s huge! Tell your friends about the show and if you’ve got something you want me to cover and riff off of send it my way.
As always, I’d wish you all sweet dreams, but we all know it’s only gonna be nightmares now! Especially for me with the Greys running around my woods! See ya next week!